The Wisdom Path

Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink

In-Person or Online Discernment Therapists

Are you on the brink of Letting go?

What Is Discernment Counseling For Couples On The Brink Of Divorce?

Considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path? Well, you are in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is specifically designed to assist you in gathering the wisdom you need in this situation. Additionally, it’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and carefully look at your options for your marriage.

Discernment counseling is a structured process specifically intended to help couples who are on the brink of divorce determine whether they should try to repair their relationship or proceed with a divorce. Moreover, it is a short-term, goal-oriented form of counseling that primarily centers on assisting couples in exploring their options and ultimately making a well-informed decision about the future of their relationship.

During discernment counseling, the counselor actively engages with the couple, employing various techniques to help them clarify their thoughts and feelings concerning their relationship. Together, they delve into an in-depth exploration of the pros and cons of staying together or separating, thereby fostering a comprehensive understanding of the situation. Furthermore, the therapist may provide valuable educational insights into the divorce process and shed light on its potential impact on the couple and their family.

During discernment counseling, the counselor works with the couple to help them clarify their thoughts and feelings about their relationship and explore the pros and cons of staying together or separating. The therapist may also provide education about the process of divorce and the impact it can have on the couple and their family.

Discernment counseling is typically of short duration, usually spanning 1-5 sessions. Notably, it can serve as an effective means for couples to thoroughly explore their options and ultimately arrive at a decision regarding the future of their relationship. This decision may entail either embarking on repairing the relationship or consciously moving forward with a divorce.

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Is Discernment Counseling Right For Us?

Considering divorce is a weighty and emotionally intense proposition. You want to feel confident that it’s the best decision for you, your relationship, and your family. Is it really the end or is it a tough patch that can be fixed? These are valid questions.

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help — and the other is “leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.

What is and is NOT discernment counseling's goal?

The counselor will help you discern whether to do one of the following:

  • try to restore your marriage to health,
  • move toward divorce, or
  • take a time out and decide later

The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.

The goal is not to solve your marital problems but rather to see whether they are solvable. You will each be treated with compassion and respect regardless of how you feel about your marriage at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.

Most relationships don’t end because they’re terrible; most relationships end because people want a better one. You’re not alone.

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What to expect

You will come in as a couple but the most important work occurs in the one-to-one conversations with the counselor. Why? Because you are starting out in different places.

The counselor respects your reasons for divorce while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the marriage to health.

The counselor emphasizes the importance of each of you seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.

How Many Sessions?

A maximum of five (5) sessions. The first session is usually 2 hours and the subsequent sessions are 1.5 or 2 hours.

Discernment Counseling Isn't For Everyone

Discernment Counseling is not Suited for these situations:

  • When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
  • When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
  • When there is a danger of domestic violence

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