Transforming “I’ll Try” from Despair to Hope in Intimate Relationships

I'll try

In my practice as a sex and marriage therapist, and through the insights shared in my book, “Making Nice with Naughty,” I’ve observed a common thread in the tapestry of relationship challenges. A scenario that often unfolds involves one partner, let’s say a wife, responding with “I’ll try” to her husband’s request for a behavioral change. This phrase, while seemingly innocuous, carries a weight that can tip the scales of patience into the realm of despair. It’s a scenario mirrored in the experiences I encounter in my clinical practice, where the essence of communication and commitment within relationships unfolds in myriad ways.


The Importance of Tangible Evidence: Moving Beyond Mere Words


“I’ll try,” without tangible evidence, can become a harbinger of frustration and despair. It’s a statement that, despite its hopeful tone, often lacks the solidity of action and progress. In the dance of intimacy and connection, where every step and misstep is felt deeply, the absence of visible effort can lead the requesting partner, in this case, the husband, to a state of despondency. He finds himself in a limbo, asked to be patient, yet without the sustenance of progress to nourish his hope.


Cultivating Hope Through Action: Transforming “I’ll Try” into Meaningful Progress


Conversely, “I’ll try,” when backed by evidence, transforms patience from a passive waiting room into a greenhouse where the seeds of hope are watered with each small, but significant, step towards change. Evidence is the sunlight under which the plant of patience thrives; it’s the tangible progress, the small victories, and the visible efforts that signal a commitment to growth and improvement.


Embracing Radical Openness: Fostering Communication and Understanding


In my book, and through the conversations that unfold in the therapy room, I emphasize the power of Radical Openness. It’s a concept that invites both partners to embrace vulnerability, to communicate openly about their needs, desires, and the challenges they face in meeting them. This approach fosters a deeper understanding and a stronger connection, laying a foundation upon which the phrase “I’ll try” is not a standalone promise but a prelude to action.


From Intention to Action: Bridging the Gap for Sustainable Change


To move from despair to hope in the context of relationship challenges, it’s essential to bridge the gap between intention and action. “I’ll try” must be more than words; it must be a commitment to taking steps, however small, towards the change that’s been requested.


Exploring the Journey of Growth: Nurturing Intimacy, Sexuality, and Connection


In the journey of making nice with naughty, where the landscapes of intimacy, sexuality, and connection are explored, the essence of “trying” is found in the doing. It’s in the small changes, the efforts to understand and meet each other’s needs, and the willingness to be vulnerable and open to growth. As a therapist, and through the pages of my book, I invite you to consider how “I’ll try” can be a beacon of hope, illuminating the path to a deeper, more fulfilling connection with your partner.

Making Nice with Naughty